Four Yorkshiremen (Live at City Center, Monty Python) ----------------- Ah, very passable, this, very passable. Nothing like a good glass of chateau de chasile. Ah, you're right there Obediah. Who'd have thought 30 years ago that i'd be sitting here drinking chateau de chasile wine, eh? In them days, we were glad to have the price of a cup of tea. Aye, a cup of cold tea. Without milk or sugar. Or tea! In a filthy, cracked cup. We never used to have a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper. The best we could manage was a suck on a piece of damp cloth. But, you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor. Because we were poor! Aye My old dad used to say to me, money doesn't buy you happiness, son He was right. Aye I was happier then and I had nothing. We used to live in this tiny old house, great big holes in the roof... House? You were lucky to have a house! We used to live in one room, all 26 of us, no furniture, half the floor was missing, we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling! Oh, you were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in a corridor! Oh, we used to dream of living in a corridor! Would have been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish heap. We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us. House? Humph. When I say house it was only a hole in the ground covered by a piece of twig, but it was a house to us. We were evicted from our hole in the ground. We had to go and live in the lake! You were lucky to have a lake! There were 150 of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road. Cardboard box? Aye You were lucky. We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down at the mill, 14 hours a day, week in, week out, and when we got home our dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt. Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at 3 o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work for 20 hours, every day for tuppence a month, come home, and dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were lucky! Well, we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at 12 o'clock at night, and lick the road clean with our tongues. We had 1 handful of freezing cold gravel, work 24 hours a day at the mill for four-pence every six years, when we got home, our dad would slice us in two with a bread knife. Right. I had to get up in the morning at 10 o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of dry poison, work 29 hours a day down mill, and when we got home, our dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing hallelujah. You try and tell the young people of today that, and they won't believe you. Nope, nope... Typed in by dp1g