Date: 22 Mar 1993 17:51:45 -0500 (EST)
From: Antonio el Tigre <TDORAZIO@SBU.EDU>
Subject: any math people out there?

If so, you might appreciate this.  it was sent to me by a friend of mine.  Do 
enjoy.

Dear Deep-Thinkers,

     It has come to my attention that a sizable majority of the general 
populus is lacking in the very attribute in which we excel ... pointless 
philosophy.  In an undoubtably futile attempt to overcome this preponderance, 
I am enclosing a list of some of the most unimportant pseudo-axioms of 
uncommon sense -- known colloquially as the Axioms of Veget-Abelian Logic 
(TM):

  1.  For every upside-down A, there exists a backwards E.
  2.  Given any real number X, X=0 unless it equals something else.
  3.  2 + 2 = 5, for sufficiently large values of 2.
  4.  It cannot be proven that this statement cannot be proven.
  5.  Given two items, you will undoubtably be asked for one back.
  6.  It is always possible to assume the incorrect.
  7.  As X approaches infinity, X gets pretty damn big.
  8.  There does not exist a non-existant element.
  9.  The range of any function f:X->Y has an empty subset.
 10.  The composition of two useless axioms is useless.

    In addition to the 10 Axioms of Veget-Abelian Logic, I include what
I find to be an interesting and quite illuminating theorem:

Theorem:  Everyone is just as stupid as everyone else.
  Proof:  (Proof by induction)
\leftindent{Given one person, he (she) is just as stupid as himself.  Assume 
that given an arbitrary collection of N people, each is just as stupid as 
everyone else in that collection. Consider a group of N+1 people.  Remove one 
and each is just as stupid as everyone else.  Remove a different person and 
the same is true. Hence the N+1 people are just as stupid as everyone else. 
 Since the number of people who have lived is finite, it follows from the 
Principle of Finite Mathematical Induction that everyone is just as stupid as 
everyone else.   Q.E.D.
}
     I can only hope that this brief interlude in unlogic will help you to 
fully appreciate those things in life which, however ridiculous, we cannot 
live without.  Live long an prosper...

td3



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 "I write on this wall"
                        -Throwing Muses, "Pearl"
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Antonio el tigre                        Tony D'Orazio
Box 533                                 246 Tracey Ln.
St. Bonaventure, NY 14778               Grand Island, NY 14072
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e-mail: tdorazio@sbu.edu