#define do                /* "Hey, that loop *never* exits!" */
#define stdout stderr     /* Works great until you try redirection. */
#define else if(rand()>RAND_MAX/2)
#define time(xx) rand()
#define extern static
#define exit(xx) _exit(!xx)
#define fclose()          /* Leak leak leak!! */
#define close()
#define malloc(xx) malloc(1024*((xx)+errno))  /* Ouch! *)
#define free(xx)          /* More leaking. */
#define fork() execl("/usr/local/games/nethack","nethack"),\
  execl("/usr/local/games/x11netrek","x11netrek","-h","127.0.0.1")
#define htons(xx)  42
#define ntohs(xx)  (~(xx))
#define htonl(xx) (((xx) / 666) * rand())
  /* Process is OK if it keeps opening files, else dies in 5 minutes.  :) */
#define fopen(f,m) (signal(SIGALRM,SIG_DFL),alarm(300),fopen(f,m))