>From: finerty@msscc.med.utah.edu (THAT'S_MR._WONDERFUL_TO_YOU) Markian M. Gooley [address] [phone #] 15 April 1992 Prof. ______________ Chairman, Personnel Committee Department of Computer Science [rest of address] Dear Prof. _____________: I have received your letter of 10 April. If the members of the Personnel Committee were impressed with my credentials, why did I they not at least invite me for an interview, even if someone of my unusual interests and admittedly limited experience is not precisely the sort of person they had in mind? The fact is that you are telling a damned lie. I had much rather you had written back that the Committee had a good laugh over my application, and quoted one member to the effect that "there's no f--king way we'd hire a turkey like that." Lies and hypocrisy disgust me and will put you at risk for eternal damnation. Furthermore, I resent your attempt to raise false hope in me by suggesting that additional positions might become available and that therefore I still have a slight chance of being hired by your adequate but highly-overrated Department. I am well aware of the financial difficulties of the state government in ______, and we both know that you are lucky to be hiring anyone at all. That even one more position should open up is exceedingly unlikely, and that you would even contemplate hiring me to fill it is ludicrous. Rest assured, however, that I will refuse any future offers. I do not wish to be associated with persons of such low moral character and vicious behavior. Wishing you all a slow and painful death followed by an eternity in Hell, I remain, Cordially yours, [signature in green ink] Markian M. Gooley (Ph. D., University of Illinois at Urbana, a far better school than any of you scum got a degree from) -- Mark., somebody hire me eor I will go into a killing rage gooley@netcom.com