"Um, excuse me..." "Yes?" "This is the Office of Safety, right?" "Yep. Problem?" "Um, I thought you people should know that you've got 500 grams of 30-year-old crystallized picric acid in one of the storerooms..." "Is that dangerous?" "One *could* say that, yes. It's sort of, well, explosive..." "OK. We'll send someone to toss it in the incinerator." "NO!!!!" "Huh? Um, is there something wrong with doing that?" "YES!!!! It's an EXPLOSIVE!!!!!" "Oh... Well, what do you suggest?" "Call the Bomb Squad." "The Bomb Squad?" "Yes. The Bomb Squad." "Um. Let me make a note of this, we'll look into it..." "Um. Look, *my* lab is on the other side of the building, i'll *probably* survive if it goes off --" "...probably?..." "Probably. But most of *this* side of the building, well,..." "The Bomb Squad, you say..." "Yes." "Um. Well, thanks for reporting this..." "Glad to be of service." M. ps this is all true