\begindata{text,17518348} \textdsversion{12} \template{default} \bold{Date}: Fri, 9 Feb 90 11:23:17 -0500 (EST) \bold{From}: Nathan James Loofbourrow \bold{To}: Bulletin Board Administration \bold{Subject}: Spicing up your SER's: A User Training Module in Creative Lying. It has come to the attention of Academic Computing that CCons, UCons, ACons, and RCons* have been turning in extremely bland, uninteresting SER's. Here is a prime example: Name: Andrew Charles Metsys Hours worked: 0000-0800 Disks: Yes. Users: Yes. Events: None. This is inexcusable. Don't you realize that the Cluster Managers have to read every one of these? Jeez, it wouldn't take the CluMan more than thirty seconds to chew through that one! It is your responsibility as an Academic Computing employee to express just how bored you were sitting in that Academic Computing-approved chair (which, by the way, is stuffed exclusively with shreddings of Messages_You_Wanted_To_Print's that no one ever picked up) for eight hours. If the CluMan is not nearly as bored as you were by the end of the SER, you have communicated poorly. Here's an example: Name: Andrew Charles Metsys Hours worked: 0000-0800 Disks: 132, including the three MacIP disks that had been renamed to vulgar words. I didn't change them because I wasn't sure whether I had the authority, but then I said the heck with it and renamed them all to "Vegetable Matter". Users: Two guys came in together at about 12:15. One of them left half an hour later, and the other stayed 'till 6 A.M. After 6, the sound of my breathing was echoing throughout the room in an annoying fashion, so I placed inflatable dummies at several of the PC's in order to dampen the sound and make the place look a little more hospitable. Events: Well, I got hungry around 2:00, so I went down to get some Fritos. But the Fritos didn't drop when I pressed the buttons (A3, 40 cents), so I gave up on the fritos and bought that awful Kentucky cheddar cheese popcorn. If that's the best they could do, I'm never buying anything made in Kentucky again. The first guy said he'd saved his term paper on one of the disks. I asked him which one and he said he thought it was a "blue" one. I checked him out with all the blue disks, but he said he couldn't find it. He said he needed a note for his professor explaining that his paper was gone because Andrew, AC, IT, CDEC, and all of Warner Hall were at fault, so I wrote him one and signed it J. Mitchell. The second guy who was there borrowed a MacDraw II disk, then came back and said he needed a system disk. Later, he requested a MacIP disk, a cT disk, and a Cricket Graph disk. I got sick of handing him all those disks, so I started Admin on the Baker 140 server and gave him an account with "all privileges". I had to take out this user named "servermaint" to do it, but the guy wasn't logged in at the time anyway. I got hungry again around 5 A.M., so I went up to buy some more Fritos, and some jerk had bought a pack and taken the one that didn't drop for me. I want something done about this. I'm crossposting this to students.maint in the hopes of getting some attention to this. The snack machine is in the hallway, position B-3, and its IP address is 128.2.23.99. Supplies used: One ream of paper, twenty-six paper clips, four Post-Its, three Kleenex, and an index card. Plus a dry erase marker, but I put it back when I was done with it. This is the kind of SER that a CluMan wants, nay, EXPECTS to read. So get on the ball, people! \enddata{text,17518348}