(Music, Sex, and Cookies) (Georg Uetz) (As performed by Michael Spiro) Well some folks say I'm a narrow-minded man But I don't think that's true Some folks call me decadent For the things I like to do Well you can do your thing and I'll do mine And maybe we'll agree But among life's many pleasures There's only three things that matter to me Chorus: It's music, sex, and cookies Cookies, music, and sex You can give 'em to me all or one at a time I don't care which one I get next time I've tried therapy and LSD And I've been lost but now I'm found And it's music, sex, and cookies Makes my world go 'round My friends and all my neighbors, They got drugs and alcohol But for me it don't take much To get me feeling ten feet tall Well there's been a few jealous husbands Nearly scared me half to death But the cops ain't never gonna arrest me For having Oreos on my breath Chorus Well I knew me a red-haired lady She was looking mighty fine She said "Why don't we get sensual And have us a good old time" But after dinner and a couple of drinks She ran off with a Pittsburgh man (And that's depressing. But I'm a rational person, and I started thinking of things to keep my mind off it, and I started thinking about that brand new record album I had just bought that very day sitting at home unopened, un-listened to, still hermetically sealed for my protection, and I started thinking about that brand new unopened box of Archway Toffee Chocolate Chip Cookies, and I started thinking about it, and I started drooling about it, and I thought, well....) Two out of three ain't bad. Chorus Now some folks lust for money Or love or power or fame But me I'm just too smart To get caught up in all of them games But if you gave me a billion dollars I'll tell you just what I'd do I'd get a new stereo, buy up Nabisco, And make sweet love to you It's music, sex, and cookies Cookies, music, and sex You can give 'em to me all or one at a time I don't care which one I get next time I've tried sodomy and LSD And I've been lost but now I'm found And it's music, sex, and cookies Makes my world go 'round