Church of our Lady of the Missions
( Head Office and Overseas Tour Contacts C/o 19 Wilthemue St, Dunedin. )
Rev Thomas Carlisle,
 M.A.B.C.  St.M.
 C/o Church of our Lady,
 19 Wilthemue St,
 Dunedin.


Dear 

Perhaps you have heard of me and my international campaign in the
cause of temperance.  Each year for the past 14 years i have made a
tour of Australia and New Zealand, delivering a series of lectures on
the evils of alcohol, illicit sexual activity, and misuse of drugs.

On these tours i have been accompanied by my faithful assistant and
friend, Clyde Williams.  Clyde, a young man of good family and
excellent background, had been with me from the onset of my tour, and
was invaluable as an assistant and faithful to my cause.  I first met
him in a gutter outside one of the suburban houses of ill repute in
Sydney, and through the years, have used him as an example of what the
misuse of drugs and alcohol, and the overindulgence in sexual activity
can do to a person.

During these lectures, Clyde would be in the front row, looking at the
audience through bloodshot eyes, picking his nose, loudly breaking
wind, sweating profusely, playing with himself, and generally doing
what came naturally to him.  I would later introduce him to the
congregation, point him out as an example of overindulgence, and we
would pray for support for him in his numerous moral struggles.

Unfortunately, in the winter of this year, Clyde died and has left an
immeasurable hole in my lectures.  As a result of this, a mutual
friend suggested your name to me, and i would like to know whether you
would be available to take Clyde's place in the rest of my tour.


Thanking you,


Yours in evangelism,

...........................................

Rev Thomas Carlisle.