CERTIFICATION TEST FOR SENIOR GENERALISTS

INSTRUCTIONS:

Read each question carefully.  Answer all questions.
Time limit 4 hours.  Begin immediately.  Work in mumerical
order (equipment remaining from Question No. 1 may prove
useful with Questions 3 and 6).

MEDICINE
You have been provided with a razor blade,
a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch.  Remove your appendix.
Do not suture until your work has been inspected.  (You have 15
minutes.)  If the examiner approves your work, complete the
health insurance forms necessary to receive reimbursement for
the operation; if your work does not pass inspection, complete
paperwork necessary to file a malpractice suit. (10 minutes)

MANAGEMENT SCIENCE
Define management.  Define science.
How do they relate?  Create a generalized algorithm to optimize
all managerial decisions.  Assuming a 7600K CPU supporting 50 terminals,
each terminal to activate your algorithm, design the communications
interface and all necessary control programs.

EPISTOMOLOGY
Take a position for or against truth.  Prove the
validity of your position.

MODERN PHYSICS
Produce element 107.  Determine its half-life.

ART
Explain the Mona Lisa's smile.

JURIS PRUDENCE
In Part 2 of Shakespeare's Henry VI'',
Jack Cade, the leader of a populist revolt, proposes that the
first order of business follwing the successful seizure of power
could be to kill all the lawyers.''  In light of the present
populist mood in the United States, assess the utility and
potential impact of such a policy today.

HISTORY
  Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the
present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on
its social, political, economic, religious and philisophical 
impact upon Europe, Asia, Africa, and the Americas.  Be brief,
concise and specific.

PUBLIC SPEAKING
  Some 2,500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom.
Calm them.  You may use any ancient language except Latin or
Greek.  Your performance will be videotaped.

BIOLOGY
  Create life.  Estimate the differences in subsequent human 
culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years
earlier, giving special attention to its probable effect on the
English parliamentary system.  Prove your thesis.

MUSIC
  Write a piano concerto.  Orchestrate and perform it with flute
and violin.  You will find a piano under your seat.  In the
interest of time, you may omit the coda.

PSYCHOLOGY
  Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional
stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each
of the following:  Moses, Alexander of Aphrodislas, Rameses II,
Gregory of Nyssa, Hammurabi, Freud, Hitler, Idi Amin, Richard Nixon.
Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, 
making appropriate references.  It is not necessary to translate.

SOCIOLOGY
  Estimate the sociological problems that might accompany the end of
the world.  Construct an experiment to test your theory.  Use charts
if approporiate.

POLITICAL SCIENCE
  There is a red telephone on the desk beside you.  Start World War 
III.  Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any

ENGINEERING
  The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on
your desk.  You will find an instruction manual printed in Swahili.
In 10 minutes, a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room.
Take whatever action you feel is appropriate.  Be prepared to 
justify your decision.

ECONOMICS
  Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt.  Trace
the possble effects of your plan in the following areas:  cubism,
the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light, the automobile
industry.  Outline a method for preventing these effects.  Criticize
this method from all possible points of view, as demonstrated in your
answer to the last question.  

PHYSICS
  Explain the nature of matter.  Include in your answer an evaluation
of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

MATHEMATICS
  If x equals pi times r squared, construct a formula showing how long
it would take a fire ant to drill a hole through a dill pickle, if the
length-girth ratio of the ant to the pickle were 98.17:1.

PHILOSOPHY
  Sketch the development of human thought, and estimate its 
significance.  Compare with the development of any other kinds of
thought.

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE
  Describe in detail.  Be objective and specific.  Abbreviations
are permitted.  You will be graded for puctuation and grammar.