Chart That Matches Programming Languages
                       With Comparable Automobiles
 
Assembler          A Formula 1 race car.  Very fast, but difficult to
                     drive and expensive to maintain.
Fortran II         A Model T Ford.  Once it was king of the road.
Fortran IV         A Model A Ford.
Fortran 77         A six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard
                     transmission and no seatbelts.
Cobol              A delivery van.  Bulky and ugly, but it does the work.
Basic              A second-hand Rambler with a rebuilt engine and
                     patched upholstery.  Your Dad bought it for you to
                     learn to drive.  You'll ditch the car as soon as
                     you can afford a new one.
PL/I               A Cadillac convertible with automatic transmission,
                     two-tone paint, white-wall tires, chrome exhaust
                     pipes, and fuzzy dice hanging in the windshield.
PL/M               A Yugo with a voided warranty.
C                  A black Firebird - the all-macho car.  Comes with
                     optional fuzzbuster (escape to ASSEMBLER).
ALGOL 60           An Austin Mini.  Boy, that's a small car!
PASCAL             A Volkswagen Rabbit with a trailer hitch (good
                     mileage, no performance).
ALGOL 68           An Aston Martin.  Impressive, but not just anyone can
                     drive it.
LISP               An electric car.  Simple, but slow.  No seatbelts
PROLOG/LUCID       Prototype exotic concept cars.
MAPLE/MACSYMA      All-terrain vehicles.
FORTH              A go-cart.
LOGO               A kiddie's replica of a Rolls Royce.  Comes with a
                      real engine and a working horn.
APL                A double-decker bus.  It takes rows and columns of
                     passengers to the same place all at the same time,
                     but it only runs in reverse and the instruments
                     are in Greek.
ADA                An Army green Mercedes-Benz staff car.  Power
                     steering, power brakes, and automatic transmission
                     are all standard.  No other colors or options are
                     available.  If it's good enough for the Generals,
                     it's good enough for you.
 
    Found tacked to the break room wall.  From some magazine with a
section called Veronica's Corner.  Who credits Daniel Soloman & David
Rosenblueth from the Dept. of Computer Science, University of Waterloo
(Waterloo, Ontario, Canada).

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 This is an excerpt from News 3X/400 Oct 92....


            What Driving to the Store Would Be Like
                            IF
                Operating Systems Ran Your Car

                ==============================

 MS DOS:  You get in the car and try to remember where you put your keys.

 WINDOWS: You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly, because
 attached to the back of the car is a freight train.

 Macintosh System 7:  You get in the car to go to the store, and the car 
drives
 you to church.

 UNIX:  You get in the car and type GREP STORE.  After reaching speeds of 200
 miles per hour en route, you arrive at the barber shop.

 WINDOWS NT:  You get in the car and write a letter that says "go to the
 store." Then you get out of the car and mail the letter to the dashboard.

 TALIGENT/PINK:  You walk to the store with Ricardo Montalban, who tells you
 how wonderful it will be when he can fly you to the store in his Learjet.

 OS/2: After fueling up with 6,000 gallons of gas, you get in the car and 
drive
 to the store with a motorcycle escort and a marching band in procession.
 Halfway there, the car blows up, killing everybody in town.

 S/36 SSP:  You get in the car and drive to the store. Halfway there, you run
 out of gas. While walking the rest of the way, you are run over by kids on
 mopeds.

 OS/400:  An attendant locks you in the car and then drives you to the store,
 where you get to watch everybody else buy filet mignons.

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